Current mood:	accomplished
Current music:	Breathe Me // Sia
Entry tags:	30 forbidden, axel/roxas, kingdom hearts

In This State of Being [Kingdom Hearts, Axel+Roxas, 30_forbidden #24 Lonely]
[Title] In This State of Being
[Fandom] Kingdom Hearts
[Pairing] Axel+Roxas
[Theme] 30_forbidden #24, Lonely. Theme List
[Genre] Angst, I guess.
[Rating] PG.
[Summary] Roxas left and Axel didn't know what he felt anymore.
[Word Count] 366
[Spoilers] If you didn't know Roxas left the Org - Whoopsies.
[Author] Fic Journal → owninglamers☆teagueful ← Personal Journal.
[Beta] jorgan
[A/N] OHMAIGAWD. I had writer's block. I killed it. I am proud. 8D COMMENT AND MAKE ME FEEL LIKE WRITING MORE. ♥


Axel lay sprawled out on his bed, staring blankly at the white ceiling. He could not explain this feeling running through his veins; what it was, why it was, or how it was. It was all a mystery to him and he wish he knew.

He laughed at himself. Here he was, back in his old mindset - he’d always wanted answers to the questions he had. That is, until a certain blond boy had befriended him. Then, everything changed. Then Axel didn’t care if he had no heart - if he had no feelings. Once the blonde had entered his life, something changed. He started feeling more, started thinking more and started to enjoy more.

Living a non-existent life was fine by him if it meant Roxas was with him. In a way, he felt like Roxas completed him. Every time Roxas was around, he felt more alive and, even if it was true he was emotionless, he felt things he shouldn’t. But it was all fine and dandy with him, whatever these feelings were - they just were and Axel didn’t care.

But Roxas did not feel the same. Roxas did not feel anything; Roxas was still void of emotion. He had questions and he wanted answers. Roxas wanted a meaning to his non-existent life, and he often questioned about his ‘other.’

Axel would never tell Roxas the truth. He knew the blonde would only leave, in pursuit of more answers to even more questions. If Roxas left, Axel would be void of his friend; his meaning; his existence.

And the boy left anyway. The warmth in Axel slowly faded and his emotions gone, save for one. He furrowed his brow, thinking, trying to figure out what this was. Eventually he would pass it off as nothing, because he was a Nobody - a non-existent creature void of emotions.

What was the use of “labeling” this state of being anyway? Or, in his case, state of non-being. Loneliness was something he was told he could not experience and so that was not what he would be labeling anything - even if, against all he was told, it were right.

[x-posted]
0kingdom_hearts☆30_forbidden☆posted@axel_roxas☆owninglamers