Current mood:	accomplished
Current music:	Post Blue // Placebo
Entry tags:	20 loves, axel/roxas, kingdom hearts

Emotions As They Should Never Be [Kingdom Hearts, Axel+Roxas, 20loves Table 1, Theme 01]
[Title] Emotions As They Should Never Be
[Fandom] Kingdom Hearts
[Pairing] Axel+Roxas
[Theme] 20loves Table 1, Theme 01 Theme List
[Genre] Roleplay; Dabbles between angst and fluff, but most definitely smutty! 8D
[Rating] NC-17.
[Summary] Axel shows Roxas what he feels.
[Word Count] 6256
[Spoilers] I don't. . . Think so. o.O;
[Author] Axel → akaeoko☆pedosaurus ← Roxas
[A/N] This is a roleplay between two people. I am too lazy for any more notes. Enjoy, comment if you wish. 8D Axel is in red, and Roxas is in blue.

Dinner in The World That Never Was never quiet. Aside from mission briefings, it was probably the only time the entire Organization was seen as a whole in the same room. It was all hustle and bustle, with routine gossip (because although Nobodies lacked hearts, they knew how to cause drama) and casual conversation. Xemnas talked over plans on how to further their goals, while the other first five members eagerly listened and pitched their two cents. Demyx performed for those who wanted to listen, while his dancers swayed to rhythms he played.



Not everyone, however, liked to participate in the festivities.



Roxas sat in one corner of the cafeteria, nibbling at his French fries, and Axel sat with him (they were together almost all the time, so it was nothing new to any of the other members that they preferred the company of each other, as opposed to surrounding themselves with the others). He got full rather quickly though, and threw the tray away, before returning to his seat, plopping down in the chair.



Axel watched the blond as he stood, cleared his tray, and resumed his seat across the small table away from him. The redhead glanced down at his own food, which only had a few bites in it. He wasn't much interested in eating tonight; Axel was more interested in his long-time friend and ally.



The two had been mostly quiet that night, as was usual during dinners. Xemnas was always talking away, others were debating and Demyx was playing music loudly - Axel hated noise and preferred places that were more quiet and intimate. He never felt like talking much when the rest of the Organization was present.



With no plans on finishing his food, Axel looked to Roxas from the corner of his eye.



“Come somewhere with me,” he said bluntly and got up from the table to discard his mostly uneaten food.



Roxas turned his attention to the redhead beside him and blinked, a clear expression of boredom on his face. He, too, preferred quieter places, and usually liked reading (he hated having to read mission reports all the time, and liked to settle down with a good novel every once in a while) or something.



“Okay...," Roxas said and rose from his seat. He didn't even bother pushing in the chair as he left the cafeteria with Axel. "Where do you have in mind?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as they walked. He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked at the ground as he walked. Even now, months after joining the Organization, he wasn’t much for making eye contact with people. Not because he felt inferior, but because sometimes, when he looked at people, they could sometimes catch a glimpse of something, a brief flash of emotion, and he didn’t like that; they weren’t supposed to feel emotion. They couldn’t.



And oh, it was so much easier to ignore something that wasn’t supposed to be there, if no one else had to see it.



“Nowhere special,” Axel said nonchalantly with a shrug of the shoulders. Like there was anywhere special in The World That Never Was anyway. Pscht.



All Axel really wanted was some privacy. He wanted to go somewhere that he could forget what he was, where he was and why he was there. There was one particular spot where he could achieve this; Axel often sat atop Memory’s Skyscraper. He’d stare and think, and he’d think so hard that his mind would go blank.



It was then that he’d forget. But. . . forgetting was not on his agenda this night.



He looked over his shoulder to the blond closely following and he let a smirk play across his lips. Lagging behind, he grabbed Roxas’ hand, created a portal and pulled the boy through it.



Roxas blinked when Axel took his hand and opened up a portal. Memory’s Skyscraper? Roxas didn’t go there too often, but it didn’t bother him to be there. So this was where Axel to take him? What was here? He glanced around, taking in the scenery; it was dark, as The World That Never Was usually was, and the neon signs (advertising nothing, because really, there was nothing here) contrasted beautifully.



Lifting a gloved hand, he ran his fingers through his hair, and looked back over at Axel. “There’s nothing to do here but look at the scenery,” Roxas said, blinking. At least, nothing that Roxas could think of. Well, they could train if they wanted, but Roxas had just returned from a mission; he didn’t need anymore fighting for a while.



“Nothing to do?!” Axel snorted. “Hah. Who needs anything to do?”



His small, slanty, emerald eyes lined with black poured into Roxas’ own eyes and searched there for a moment. The redhead’s smirk widened for a moment before he turned and took a few steps out towards the edge of the building.



Axel shrugged as he plopped himself down, dangling his long, skinny legs off the edge of the bulding.



“I just like it up here, I guess. I don’t s’pose you know of anything better we could do?” he asked and looked at the blond from the corner of his eye.



Roxas just shrugged, a light roll of his shoulders, and he moved to sit down next to Axel. He stretched his arms over his head before placing them behind him, and he leaned back slightly, letting all of his weight rest on his arms. He looked over the edge of the building, and he was hardly fazed by the fact that they were on the rooftop of a high building. Nobodies couldn’t truly feel fear anyway, so it would have been pointless to let it get to him.



He just shrugged. They could have stayed in the cafeteria (he kind of wished he hadn’t thrown those fries away), could have gone to spar (but he wasn’t in the mood for it—not that Nobodies had moods, right?). There were lots of things that they could have done. Just… not many things they could do atop a skyscraper. Hell, they could’ve thrown munny over the side of the building, and see if they could hit any Heartless. He hadn’t tried it, but he heard a rumor that if they were hit on the head, they could die. Or something.



Axel watched Roxas’ face for a few moments in silence, his dark eyes barely visible in the dark as they searched for something in the sapphire orbs darting over the scenery. He was searching for something, but he wasn’t entirely sure what it was that he was searching for.



Having just confused himself, Axel blinked and looked away, fixing his gaze on Kingdom Hearts; but he wasn’t really looking at it. He had other things on his mind. He blinked again and shook his head.



“So, now that we’re alone. . . ,” Axel began. He laid back, folding his hands behind his head as he stared up into the dark, stormy clouds above. “Let’s talk.”



He inwardly cringed, realising he probably sounded stupid. But there wasn’t much else to do on the roof of an incredibly tall skyscraper, so it’d just have to do.





“Talk?” Roxas asked, looking over his shoulder at Axel. “About what?”



Of course, when Roxas said that, he blinked. He almost felt like a mindless drone. He did what he was told, didn’t ask questions. He knew his place in the Organization, and knew that there was little room for error; he couldn’t let himself be distracted by trivial things like talking (which was kind of another way to say: Roxas wasn’t too good at talking. Sure, he had opinions, but they were usually on topics in which he had little or no room to voice them, so he usually stayed silent. After a while, being a near-mute grows on you).



He looked up at the sky, and beyond dark clouds, he could see stars—worlds—flickering, and some slowly disappearing right before his very eyes. More worlds being consumed by the darkness, and slowly, slowly, they were getting closer to reaching their goal. Roxas didn’t really care about getting his heart back. Unlike the others, he couldn’t remember anything from his past. No memories, no knowledge of what it was to feel. Nothing.



Momentarily bursting into laughter, Axel rolled over onto his side to look at the blond who appeared to be off into his own world of thoughts.



Axel was always lost in his thoughts. Which might have seemed odd to some people, since he was a man of action-before-thought. He didn’t like to think very much, but he couldn’t help it. There was so much on his mind at any given moment that he could talk for hours.



He knew Roxas wasn’t much of a talker, but it still baffled him that the blond had no idea what there could be to talk about. Even now, there had to be something on the boy’s mind.



“Well,” Axel said once he’d stopped chuckling, “I don’t know. I’m sure we could find something to talk about. . . We could start with what’s on your mind.”



Roxas was pretty sure the thoughts running through his mind could have been considered treason, or something. Someone who had little faith in the Superior’s plan? Someone who didn’t care? Not that they could truly care in the first place, but everyone seemed to be focused on achieving the same goal (except Roxas, who just did what he was told; it wasn’t like he had a choice in the matter, anyhow).



“I don’t know,” Roxas sighed. He felt weird. “It all just seems kind of pointless, this whole Kingdom Hearts thing. We need to get our hearts back, we need to do this, we need to do that. It’s stupid. They’re all worried about becoming complete? We seem to be getting by the way we are. And they want to be able to feel again? They don’t think their emotions are genuine? They seem real enough to me.”



And Roxas, he knew he was rambling. He felt stupid, and promptly shut his mouth. This is why he didn’t like to talk much, especially when there were so many thoughts running through his head.



Axel’s eyes immediately widened the moment Roxas opened his mouth. He’d never heard his friend say so much in one mouthful, nor say something of that manner. It stunned Axel and all he could do was gape his mouth for a moment.



He realized then that he was probably making Roxas uncomfortable, just staring at him. Axel sat up, his face still serious - but it wasn’t disproving.



“Lately. . . I’ve been thinking the same. Honestly, the only reason I’m still with the Organization is so that I don’t get destroyed. . .”



He paused, looking Roxas straight in the eyes before giving him a small smile.



“The way I see it? They’re all looking for their hearts because they don’t have what we have.”



Roxas looked over at Axel, a bit wary. He was the last person the blond would imagine to agree with him (the other Organization members aside), and he could feel his cheeks growing warmer, despite the cool night air. He glanced away again, and turned his attention to Kingdom Hearts, the symbol for what they stood for, what they hoped to achieve, what they wanted so badly to reclaim.



“What do you mean?” Roxas asked, monotone. He shouldn’t have opened his mouth in the first place; he shouldn’t have spoken against the Organization. He was re-building his barriers. The blond didn’t want to talk about it anymore, but he had already asked, so he had no choice but to listen. Roxas didn’t think he had anything, knew he didn’t. He was like the rest of them, almost more so. Nothing to fall back on, and he was confused, more than anything.



“What do you mean ‘what do you mean’?” Axel asked, his smile fading quickly into a semi-frown. “Don’t you think this is strange?”



He paused, still staring at Roxas, his eyes flickering as they moved back and forth when he changed his focus from eye to eye.



“Before I met you. . . I had nothing. I felt nothing. But then you came along and that all changed. I feel, Roxas. Emotions. They don’t have emotions. They remember them. That’s not what this is, Roxas. You said yourself not 30 seconds ago that you felt genuine emotion. And I know that I do.”



Now he himself felt like he was rambling on, sounding stupid as he went. There was an awkward silence between the two of them before Axel spoke again, feeling the need to say something. Anything.



“Do you love me?”



Roxas was wide-eyed. What was Axel talking about? That wasn’t… that wasn’t what Roxas meant (or so he liked to think). He wasn’t any different from the others. He didn’t know anything about emotion (there were times when he wanted to punch walls, or scream, or hug something). Was that what emotion was? He assumed that what he felt sometimes, they might have been emotion, but he was never too sure.



He thought there was more to it, and oh god, he felt overwhelmed. Roxas was sure he had contradicted everything he had said previously, and that was all the more reason to prove that he didn’t know what he was talking—rambling—about. No heart, no emotion.



He swallowed, hard, and he couldn’t look at Axel. Sure, to the other members, it might have been a memory of what it was like to feel, but how could they tell the difference between a memory and a true, genuine feeling? Roxas didn’t know what he had been talking about; he wasn’t in his right mind. He almost felt bad.



“No.”



Axel seemed unfazed by the answer Roxas had just given him. In fact, he almost looked satisfied with it. He gave a faint smile and slowly inched closer to his blond friend. Closer, closer, closer - until they were face to face and their noses almost touched.



Emerald poured into sapphire as Axel stared into Roxas’ eyes, and waited. As if Roxas could see emotion running through his eyes like small sparks of electricity. He felt full of it; ever time he was with Roxas, he swore he could feel emotions. Every single one of them.



Maybe even love. Axel didn’t know what love felt like. But even now there was some unknown emotion running through his veins. If he labeled it ‘love,’ that’s what it would be. And so he did.



With the most serious voice he’d ever spoken, Axel quietly whispered three important words. He didn’t actually know if these words really were important. But they felt important. They seemed to surge through his veins as they traveled from the pit of his belly to the tip of his tongue as he said:



“I love you”



Roxas almost visibly winced and he looked away again. It would have been such an easy comment to brush off had it not been for the way Axel spoke, serious compared to his usual sarcastic tone, or the way he looked at him. It made his stomach roll over inside of his body, and for a few seconds, he thought he was going to be sick.



Axel wasn’t supposed to say that. He was supposed to laugh at Roxas for thinking too much, and tease him about emotions and for taking things too seriously. He almost hated Axel for saying that to him.



Then again, maybe Axel was right about being able to feel emotion. But… how would he know what it was? Memory? Gut instinct? Roxas’ ability to remember anything from his past didn’t really help him, especially when it came to dealing with emotion.



No you don’t, no you don’t, no you don’t.



“I know.”



A gloved hand cupped Roxas’ cheek as he looked away. Axel brushed his thumb across the blond’s lower lip and gently turned the boy’s face back towards him. He knew that Roxas knew he could feel, but it was obvious that he didn’t know whether or not to believe it. Axel was confusing the boy and he almost felt bad for it.



But he didn’t care. He moved his hand from Roxas’ cheek, down to the crook of his neck and slid his eyes closed as he pressed his lips against the other’s. An electrical charge surged through his body, and he wondered if Roxas could feel it too.



Slipping his tongue into Roxas’ mouth, Axel almost felt on fire. There was no way Roxas coudn’t feel this. To deny it was just plain crazy.



Almost as crazy as what the two were doing now.



Roxas’ eyes widened, and he didn’t know what to do. His head was swarming with thoughts and it was making him dizzy (or maybe it was something entirely different), and he had to close his eyes. A hand shot out, blindly groping for Axel’s jacket, and he was trying to push him away and pull him closer all at once.



Part of him wanted to shove Axel away, scream profanities at him for saying that, hurt him for making him feel this way (what way?). On the other hand, he kind of liked this, the way Axel’s hand rested against his neck, and how he kissed him.



His hand tightened on Axel’s jacket, and a quiet sound escaped his lips, muffled by the redhead’s own. What was going on here?



Axel broke the kiss and let out a soft chuckle, smiling against Roxas’ lips.



“Relax,” he said and wrapped an arm around Roxas’ waist, gently pulling him closer. He took the boy’s mouth once again with his own, a bit fiercer this time, penetrating deeper with tongue.



He tasted every crevice of Roxas’ mouth, running his tongue along the roof of his mouth, his teeth, his tongue. Again and again, Axel would kiss him and find a new place in his mouth to taste, to set on fire with only his tongue.



Axel knew Roxas was probably confused and had no idea what to do. But it gave him some strange sense of power, being able to make the blond feel this way and being the one in charge.



Roxas didn’t think hearing Axel say that was altogether helpful, and he tensed as he felt Axel’s hand slide along his waist and pull him closer. He leaned into the kisses, and his hand released its hold on Axel’s jacket, instead occupying itself at the base of the redhead’s neck.



His other hand was still resting on the building they were sitting on (and he almost forgot that they were on the rooftop of Memory’s Skyscraper), keeping himself propped upright. It was kind of an awkward position to hold, but he was too stunned right now to move.



“What’re you doing?” Roxas spoke against Axel’s lips, managing to pull away long enough to catch his breath, and he was panting slightly. Well, he knew—kissing—but why, why, why? Why did Axel have to do this to him, make him think so much he got dizzy, say he loved him?



Leaning into Roxas and making him lean back, Axel laid Roxas back on the rooftop. With a leg on either side of Roxas’ hips, he leaned over and kissed him again.



“I’m showing you. . . ,” he said between kisses. “. . . What I feel.”



He moved his mouth from the blond’s lips, to his chin, and down his jaw bone, leaving trails of saliva with each kiss. With his wet tongue he sucked gently at the crook of the boy’s neck, breathing hotly over wet skin between each kiss.



Axel wondered what was going on through Roxas’ mind at that moment. What he was feeling, what he was thinking, or how much it would take him to believe the emotions running through his veins.



Whatever it took, Axel was going to give.



What was Axel trying to accomplish by doing this? Make Roxas change his mind? Acknowledge feelings that weren’t there?



His eyes went wide for a moment, and he stilled as he found himself pressed into the rooftop. Roxas’ innocence was beginning to show through his uncertainty, and he didn’t know what to do.



He wasn’t sure what kept him from pushing Axel away, telling him that he was stupid for acting this way, but it was too late to stop now (and he almost didn’t want to). He gasped, moaned quietly, and tilted his head back, exposing his throat in offering.



He swallowed, and he could hear the blood rushing through his ears. The blond brought his free hand up, running his fingers through Axel’s hair, and it moved to grasp at a shoulder.



Axel let out a sigh, hot against the wet skin of Roxas’ neck. He shifted up slightly, digging his face deep into the soft spikes of the blond’s hair, inhaling the scent of cirtus which sent Axel crazy. His breath was loud as he wrapped his tongue behind Roxas’ ear, and nibbled at the boy’s earlobe.



A gloved hand reached up for his own coat, unzipping it quickly. He grabbed Roxas gently by the wrist and placed his friend’s hand over his now bare chest.



“Just do what you feel,” Axel whispered quietly into his ear, sensing the confusion he was going through.



He grabbed for Roxas’ coat zipper and began unzipping it, very slowly, giving the boy enough time to stop him if he wished. . . But everything in Axel hoped that he wouldn’t.



Roxas felt his body give an involuntary shudder, and he was moaning again, tilting his head to the side, slightly, hoping for more teeth and Axel’s wet, hot tongue against his ear.



His hand was still against the redhead’s bare chest, and then his fingers began to twitch with anticipation. Moving his hand slightly, he brushed his fingers over a nipple, and then down, gently raking his fingernails along Axel’s side; he could feel the muscles rippling beneath his fingertips.



The blond looked at Axel, and the hand occupying the redhead’s shoulder squeezed just a little tighter, fingers flexing idly. He was… scared—though nervous might have been the better word—at least, as far as a Nobody was concerned.



There was that dislike for not being able to be in control, of his actions, of his reactions, and that bothered Roxas. But there was something else, an insatiable lust stirring inside of him, and that was probably the reason he let Axel unzip his coat.



Axel could feel the younger Nobody become even more tense as he slowly pulled on the zipper - but Roxas did not protest. He tugged the zipper a bit faster, trying to hold himself back, until it finally unhooked it at the bottom.



He sat up slightly, to take a look at the shirtless blonde beneath him - but it wasn’t long. Axel was not a very patient man; a burning desire grew within him, so fierce that not even he himself could hold back.



As he gazed down at Roxas, that desire could be visible in his emerald eyes before lust glazed them over. They slid shut as Axel leaned forward, and wrapped his hot mouth around the blond’s nipple.



His tongue ran circles, his lips sucked and his teeth pinched. Long, lanky fingers rolled Roxas’ other nipple, pinching and squeezing. Axel continued this for seconds which felt like minutes; tasting as he tried to keep himself in check - and he waited, listened, for any sounds which might escape the blond’s chest.



Roxas' face felt hot, and he was pretty sure that it wasn't due to the extremely warm weather climate The World That Never Was had to offer. (Sarcasm, of course. It was rarely ever warm there. Not unbearable, but if one were, say, shirtless, shivers would most definitely be plentiful.)



He gasped, back arching off of the ground, and he was trying to press closer to Axel, to those teeth, that hand. Who knew something like this could feel so good?



A shiver as Axel continued his actions, and Roxas was reaching with a hand, entangling fingers in wild, red locks. He was trying to pull Axel closer, and he pressed his hips into the redhead's, grinding slightly. Then, another confused pause. What was coming over the blond?



When Axel didn’t need any more encouragement, the boy began grinding against him. It was all too much, and his brain, which was already spinning into oblivion, finally completely shut down. He grunted, breathing hotly over Roxas’ saliva coated nipple, and went to work.



At a speed he didn’t even know he had, he pinned Roxas down with one hand and went to work on button of his pants. They were off and around his knees, and he immediately went to work on Roxas’ own.



They were both naked, with their pants around their knees, erections hot against the cool air. Axel’s lanky fingers wrapped loosely around both of their penises and he ground his raw cock against Roxas’ own.



Axel tilted his head back slightly. His lips parted as he began breathing harder. He let out a throaty groan as his hips rocked faster and pounding into Roxas harder.



Roxas gave a quiet yelp of surprise, and he was arching his hips into Axel's. The pleasure, it was almost overwhelming, and he moaned. Eyes slipped shut, and he could feel everything, hear everything.



Of course, Roxas had always been rather greedy. If he wanted something, he had no qualms about doing whatever it took to get it. (Granted, never before had it been anything physical, save for maybe when fighting. There were no rules in war, at least, none that Roxas knew of.)



"More...," Roxas breathed quietly, which bit off into a moan, and he was still pressing his hips to Axel's.



Just hearing Roxas asking for more made Axel shudder. He hadn’t expected this to go so well. He hadn’t planned on giving the blond more, but if that’s what he wanted, it’s what he’d get. Besides, by this point Axel wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop himself.



He reached over to his coat pocket and shuffled around, still trying to grind himself into Roxas at the same time. It was proving a bit hard to do; Axel was never the multi-tasker. But finally, he found what he was looking for - a small glass vial of clear liquid.



“Hold on,” Axel said, almost grunting as he sat up. He emptied the contents into his palm, and before Roxas had time to reply he was already smearing the cold, slick liquid all over his erection.



Axel kneeled over the blond now, his long fingers still delicately holding the tip of Roxas’ penis, guiding it closer and closer to the puckered rim of Axel’s anus. He let out a short sigh before slowly going down on the him, with his lip between his teeth and his brows furrowed sharply as he felt Roxas penetrate him.



"A-Axel...?" Roxas could feel his breath catch in his throat as he felt a cold liquid being smeared over him, and he looked up at the redhead, giving him a questioning look. If this was going to happen the way he imagined it was going to be happening—Roxas felt his cheeks flush, and he was nervous as hell. He didn't have a clue as to what he was supposed to do, but he didn't want to make a fool of himself.



But then Axel was straddling him, pressing against him, and when Roxas was inside, he could do nothing but gasp at the sudden tight heat, and oh god oh god oh god—



Another moan had him pressing his hips closer to Axel's, and his hands found their place on Axel's waist, fingers gripping tightly. Bruises would probably appear in the form of tiny finger imprints later, but at the moment, Roxas couldn't care less. There were more important matters to attend to, and he bit his lip as he pulled out slightly, and then thrust back in.



“Aah,” Axel grunted as Roxas began to move. Damn, the kid caught on fast. He felt himself tighten around the blond, and tried to relax. He hadn’t done this in quite a long time and it wasn’t proving easy. He let out another moan; despite the lube, it still stung.



“Roxas. . .” he sighed and tried to relax more. He began his own movements, moving with the other’s hips and then against them. He could feel Roxas inside him, sliding in and then out, and he began to pick up the pace.



Before he knew it he was slamming his hips into the other’s again, moving faster and faster. He could feel himself beginning to relax; the more he relaxed, the faster he went; the faster he went the easier it was. His brain was going on a complete shutdown until the only thing left on his mind was Roxas inside of him.



Oh god oh god oh god, was all Roxas could think. It wasn't even a coherent thought. His brain was like a CD that kept skipping, just repeating the same line over and over and over. But dammit, it felt so good that he didn't care about that.



And Axel, he was moving faster against Roxas, and the blond moaned, arched his hips off of the ground. Nails dug into Axel's hips, as if holding on tightly to the redhead was like holding onto the last thread of sanity that he had. It was probably true. In a place like this, Roxas could tell that many of the other members, who all had their problems, were consumed by thoughts of becoming 'complete,' were slowly going mad. But Roxas, he wouldn't end up like them.



He managed to sit up slightly, but found that he needed to put much of his weight forward so that he wouldn't just fall backward again, and he was pressing himself against Axel, teeth latching onto the redhead's collarbone, nipping and sucking feverishly as he continued to thrust into the older boy above him.



Head tilted back with his eyes closed, Axel was too lost in his own pleasures to think. He was vaguely aware of small pains in his hips, but more aware of the pain turned pleasure digging deeper and deeper inside of him.



A sharp pain on his collar bone grabbed his attention, and he grunted loudly as he brought his head forward to look at Roxas. The blond was flushed, his eyes closed and brows raised; and Axel smiled, because he knew that his best friend was feeling.



He dug his face into Roxas’ hair, ignoring the tickling that the blond locks made against his nose and lips. He was breathing harshly, erratically - and, he realised then, loudly. Moaning with every thrust Roxas made, every time Roxas dug himself deeper inside of Axel.



Axel wrapped one arm around Roxas, pulling him closer. With the other, he slipped his hand between them and wrapped his fingers around his own hard, aching erection and began servicing himself.



Now moaning with every breath he made, he pumped himself with every thrust the blond made. His eyes rolled into the back of his head from all of the pleasure he was feeling, and he felt himself building up inside.



With the realization of what was happening (and that he was not dreaming), what was truly happening, Roxas was almost scared. Yeah, it was sex, it felt good, and he didn’t want to stop—didn’t think he could, even if he wanted to. But… this was his best friend. Who had just admitted to him that he felt things that he shouldn’t have, wasn’t supposed to (and Roxas still thought that this might have all been some cruel joke).



There were things called “mixed signals” weren’t there? (Right, because having a friend who say they love you, when you tell them you don’t feel the same way, isn’t confusing enough already—let’s add sex. Good sex.)



Roxas could hear Axel moaning and gasping, and then there was another set of noises, which, he realized, were coming from him, nearly matching the redhead’s in volume and number. All the while, his breathing was coming out in short pants, breath hot against Axel’s collarbone—and why did he have to fit against the older boy so perfectly when Axel pulled him close? (Destiny? Roxas didn’t believe in the logic of fairy tales.)



A hand relinquished its grip on Axel’s hip, and moved, raking nails slowly, gently, up the redhead’s spinal column, and moving to grasp at a shoulder as he continued to rock up into Axel. Another moan, and the blond could feel himself shiver against the other.



“Roxas,” Axel moaned loudly as he felt fingers traveling up his spine. He arched his back more and more the farther up they went, pressing himself hard into the blond against the ground.



He could feel Roxas shiver against him and he rocked his hips even harder, faster if possible, and the hand between them went faster as well. Axel knew he was getting closer, and he was beginning to see stars.



Axel bent his head over, breathing hard against Roxas and dug his teeth into his neck. His mind was so lost he, unintentionally, bit harder. He tasted the blood as is trickled down Roxas’ neck, but he thought nothing of it.



With a loud grunt, he came all over both of their stomachs. Axel released Roxas’ neck as he tried to catch his breath, and leaned harder into the other as he felt himself beginning to get heavy.



Roxas hissed, feeling a brief, sharp pain against his neck, and he tipped his head back slightly. The pain hardly bothered him; he had received plenty of injuries during his battles, so this was nothing (and feeling his skin break beneath Axel’s teeth gave him a bit of a rush).



He bit his lip, and he was still rocking into the body above his, and when he changed his angle, he was able to hit that one spot that would make Axel see stars (something he’d never felt) After a few moments, he could feel something splatter against his abdomen, but he paid little to no attention to it. Roxas had more important things to focus on right now, such as the growing pressure inside of him.



Considering what he did for a living (unliving?), he needed to have high endurance. But right now, he wasn’t killing heartless, so the thought was easily disregarded. He just knew that he needed release, and he needed it soon.



His eyes were still closed, and he continued to thrust up into Axel, almost frantic, because oh god oh god oh god, he was so close. Soon, though, he was arching up into Axel and tossing his head back as he finally came.



Axel felt himself falling asleep on top of Roxas as his breathing finally regulated. He resisted the feeling, however, and lifted his head up. Watching Roxas for a moment, he crossed his arms across the blond’s chest and laid his chin on his wrists.



“So. . . ,” he said quietly and smiled softly, tiredly. ”I don’t s’pose I’ve changed your mind, have I?”



Though it may not sound like it, it was a rhetorical question. Axel didn’t care if he did, it would just mean that the boy had lied to him in the first place. Or, maybe Axel didn’t care if he’d changed Roxas’ because he doubted he had. But that was no matter, either; it would just mean he’d have to work harder to make the boy believe.



And that was what he had hoped for.



“No… I don’t know…,” Roxas answered, unsure. That was a lie. He didn’t feel any different (save for a bit tired, and there was something telling him, in the back of his mind, that he wouldn’t mind doing something like that again). Roxas could once more feel that oh-so familiar emptiness in his chest, and he frowned.



He was tired too, now, and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep for a while. Shifting slightly, he propped himself up with his elbows, albeit his arms shook slightly before he just applying all of his weight on them, and they stilled (his body was screaming for sleep, but just a bit longer, please).



“And you… You haven’t changed your mind?” Roxas asked, looking up at Kingdom Hearts instead of making eye contact with Axel (who was, undoubtedly, watching him like a hawk, as he always did). He still thought the whole thing was ridiculous.



“Fuck no,” Axel said and snorted a laugh. He, too, looked up to Kingdom Hearts. “I don’t need that ridiculous thing. I know what I feel, and I know that I don’t need Kingdom Hearts in order to feel it.”



He knew that Roxas always thought about it; how ridiculous Xemnas’ plans were. Deep down, he knew that Roxas knew the whole plan would fail. Even if it were to succeed, it wouldn’t change them. And everything Xemnas said about not being able to feel - it was all just his way of manipulating them all.



The only reason Axel was still a part of the Organization was. . . Roxas. And the convenience of not constantly having an Org member tailing his ass with plans of turning him into a dusk.



“The only thing I need in order to feel. . . Is you.”

[x-posted]
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